How Are You?

It's been a while since I last saw you..this is the longest that we haven't talked or seen each other. I cannot believe i still can endure the pain. I just do not know until when.

I always try to figure out why I am where I am right now. All my life I tried to be so good, to be helpful and the best person I can be, but I never been successful. So many things are coming my way, but then they just pass..nothing stayed. And that made me imune to losing something, i don't know if it made me stronger because everytime something's/someone's gone i still cry..If i am strong enough i shouldn't be moved by anything right? I cannot say i am numb coz i am living my life in pain everyday. I often dream about you, we were so happy in my dreams, we have a simple life, we rule the world, we were inseperable..but only in my dreams.

Years from now, you will have life of your own...you will be somebody someday. I know you will be good in everything you do, coz you are doing great now. And that's the reason why i don't deserve you because you are such a masterpiece and you deserve someone better. This song of Barbara Streisand will always be dedicated to you:

If I Could, I'd protect you from the sadness in your eyes

give you courage in a world of compromise, yes I would

If I could, I would teach you all the things I've never learned

and I'd help you cross the bridges that I've burned, yes I would

if I could, I would try to shield your innocence from time

but the part of life I gave you isn't mine,I've watched you grow so I could let you go

if I could, I would help you make it through the hungry years

but I know that I can never cry your tears, but I would if I could,

if I live in a time and place where you don't want to be

you don't have to walk along this road with me
my yesterday won't have to be your way

if I knew how I'd try to change the world I brought you to

and there isn't very much that I can do but I would, if I could

I love you so much!

love,
mommy