Whilst everybody’s enjoying the spirit of Christmas and Holidays, I am currently in a state of despair and misery…and the hardest part of it is to pretend happy, to feel strong when I know I’m not and to endure the pain which is slowly killing me everyday. My friends here in Singapore are very supportive, they comfort me most of the times and I am very thankful of that but sad that I have to keep the situation from my best friends, good friends and my family. Do not ask me please…. Just wait for me on Christmas. I was weeping for days, I was so confused and had no hope at all. I couldn’t find answers to my questions even if I stay all night lying in bed thinking of what has been happening and why it is happening. I was literally lost.
Since Tuesday, I have been reading posts from the mountaineers on our Yahoo groups about the Simbang Gabi here in Singapore. For whatever reason, I just woke up from my 2-hour sleep yesterday wanting to go to church. I’ve never attended the Catholic mass for 3 years but yesterday I felt the urge to hear the Gospel and ask for God's forgiveness.
So I was at Christ the King Church last night with thousands of Filipinos celebrating the holy mass. It was a magical experience… my heart was pumping hard when I entered the church, though crowded, I felt I was given a special space, and when the choir started singing Christmas carol, I burst into tears. From the beginning until the end, I was asking forgiveness from God while my tears were overflowing my eyes.
It felt good to be back in HIS arms again. I may not be totally healed now but soon I will be ok and will be a better person. Life is good, Praise the Lord!
Since Tuesday, I have been reading posts from the mountaineers on our Yahoo groups about the Simbang Gabi here in Singapore. For whatever reason, I just woke up from my 2-hour sleep yesterday wanting to go to church. I’ve never attended the Catholic mass for 3 years but yesterday I felt the urge to hear the Gospel and ask for God's forgiveness.
So I was at Christ the King Church last night with thousands of Filipinos celebrating the holy mass. It was a magical experience… my heart was pumping hard when I entered the church, though crowded, I felt I was given a special space, and when the choir started singing Christmas carol, I burst into tears. From the beginning until the end, I was asking forgiveness from God while my tears were overflowing my eyes.
It felt good to be back in HIS arms again. I may not be totally healed now but soon I will be ok and will be a better person. Life is good, Praise the Lord!
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